


there are worse things i could do

by bazerella



Series: You're The One That I Want [2]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Andrew POV, Inspired by Grease, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:00:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28245813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bazerella/pseuds/bazerella
Summary: Andrew’s summer went against everything he was known for. He couldn’t tell his family about watching sunsets on top of the movie theater roof, or the sharing of ice cream cones on the boardwalk, or the boy with blue eyes and his slight English accent.(Andrew's POV of the Grease AU. You don't have to have read the first part to read this one!)
Relationships: Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Series: You're The One That I Want [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2069094
Comments: 14
Kudos: 69





	there are worse things i could do

**Author's Note:**

> Here we go! Andrew's POV!!!! I hope you enjoy! 
> 
> (this is not beta'd so let me know if there are any mistakes!!)

Andrew Minyard was known for several things. Those things included but were not limited to: always smelling faintly of cigarette smoke, being the leader of The Monsters, and not being one to settle down. 

Andrew’s summer went against everything he was known for. He couldn’t tell his family about watching sunsets on top of the movie theater roof, or the sharing of ice cream cones on the boardwalk, or the boy with blue eyes and his slight English accent. 

Simply put: his family wouldn’t understand. Andrew was convinced that he needed to be the strong, and put together one of the group. Admitting he had feelings and spent the summer with gentle touches and soft kisses? They wouldn’t get it. They may think that they don’t need Andrew anymore and then where would he be? 

Andrew blamed all this as to why he snapped. It was the first day of their last year in school. He was driving, as he always did. Aaron and Kevin were sitting in the back seat, Aaron staring with his dumb heart eyes and Kevin talking about something boring. Nicky was in the passenger seat being annoying as fuck, for a lack of better terms. Nicky was prattling on about his own summer romance with the new neighbor. Erik Klose. He was from Germany and while Andrew could admit the man was very easy on the eyes, Andrew didn’t really give a shit. 

He didn’t want to listen to how Nicky was so in love and how happy he was that Erik was so close when Andrew’s own summer romance was on the other side of the world. 

_ Neil Josten.  _ Andrew repeated the name to himself over and over again. Andrew hadn’t given Neil any of his contact information after they said their good-byes. What would have been the point? So Andrew could pine from thousands of miles away? Andrew was good at protection. Typically he protected himself the least, but he could tell as soon as he had met Neil that this one was going to hurt. He wanted to minimize his own pain for once. 

Andrew checked back into the conversation when Nicky turned the conversation to him. Nicky has been obsessed with the fact that Andrew had been MIA all summer. He wanted details and a love story and Andrew just couldn’t give him that. 

“I spent the summer with someone,” Andrew said. Nicky’s eyes widened with hope and Andrew only felt a little guilty about smashing it to pieces. “It was nothing serious, with nobody important.” 

Nicky deflated just as Andrew predicted and the rest of the ride to school was silent. They were late as usual, Abby from the main office just rolled her eyes and told them she hoped they had a nice and relaxing summer but it was time to get back into the grind of things but she wrote them all late passes anyway. Something she did all last year and would continue to do all this year. 

Andrew’s classes were monotonous. He paid attention because actually hearing the material was necessary for his eidetic memory to do what it’s supposed to but he didn’t put in any more effort than that. Andrew didn’t freely want things but he wouldn’t deny that all he wanted now was to go home and go to bed. 

He lit up as soon as he exited the school building. He made his way toward his car but hesitated slightly in his steps when he saw unwanted classmates talking to his family. It was the first day of school, couldn’t he catch a fucking break for once? He knew logically that Aaron, Kevin, and Nicky were well capable of handling the likes of Allison Reynolds, but even from a distance Andrew could tell this was not like the typical bantering that occurred between the two groups. He also noticed that Renee was not present which meant that Allison had her real claws out. 

Andrew steadied himself and walked toward the crowd. All he had to do was get Allison away and then he could drive home with his family and go the fuck to sleep until he had to do it all over again tomorrow. Everyone was too busy arguing with one another to notice his arrival. It was usually better that way, Andrew was good at catching people off guard. 

Allison noticed him first and her smile made Andrew’s skin crawl. “Andrew!” Her voice feigned sweetness but Andrew knew better. “Have you met Neil?” 

Andrew’s heart faltered. Andrew loved being the one to catch others off guard, but when he, himself was caught off guard? That was when his walls grew. That was when he got angry, and when his outwards apathy got stronger to hide the fact that he was angry in the first place. Andrew watched as Allison pulled a boy from behind the crowd. 

Neil was just as Andrew remembered. Blue eyes, a runner’s slim body, only three inches keeping them from being the same height. Andrew had vivid flashbacks of this boy in the back seat of his car, underneath him, whispering Andrew’s name like it was something magnificent. 

But this couldn’t be real because Neil was supposed to be in London. He had said good-bye to Andrew and then he was supposed to be nothing more than a hallucination. A summer memory that Andrew would try to forget about for the rest of his life because remembering would hurt too much. 

Unless Neil lied. 

Andrew’s anger at being surprised was simmering at his very core, ready to unleash. There was a very good possibility that Neil had lied. Maybe Neil just didn’t want anything more than the summer but didn’t want to let Andrew down. Andrew  _ had _ said he was from Columbia, so maybe Neil thought he could get away with lying. Maybe Neil thought he would never see Andrew again. 

Andrew came back to himself to finally address Allison’s question. He gave Neil a dismissive once over and then as calmly as he could make his voice, regardless of all the  _ feelings _ he had bouncing in his head, said “No. I have not.” 

* * *

Andrew knew he had the tendency to be cruel. He saw it in himself when he used to fight with his brother. He saw it when he used to dismiss Nicky at every instance of family bonding. He saw it when Kevin and Aaron first started dating and the first thoughts that crossed his mind was  _ betrayal _ instead of happiness for those who meant the most to him. 

Andrew never thought he’d see the day when he was cruel to Neil. Andrew couldn’t get the hurt expression on Neil’s face out of his head. Andrew supposed he could have pulled Neil aside and asked for the truth instead of being as dismissive as he was, but he was too in shock by Neil’s presence all together. He hated that he didn’t know Neil was in Palmetto. He hated that Allison Fucking Reynolds had the upper hand in this whole situation and that Neil must’ve told them  _ something _ about the summer because why would Allison even want to shove Neil in Andrew’s face if she didn’t know anything. 

These thoughts followed Andrew as he drove to the movie theater. They followed him as he went through the employee entrance and then up the staircase until he hesitated at the door to the roof. He knew Neil was on the other side. He could feel it. He just wasn’t sure what to expect. He hurt Neil, something he had never done before. He wasn’t sure how the other boy would react. 

Andrew opened the door and made himself relax. It was just Neil. He lit up a cigarette as he approached and then sat down right next to Neil. Better to just get this over with than drag it out. Andrew could feel the side-eye Neil was giving him. It was a strange feeling, being on the opposite end of Neil Josten’s pettiness. Andrew loved the way Neil would mouth off to mindless strangers over the summer. He found he didn’t particularly like it when that mouth was used on him. 

“I’m sorry. Do I know you?” 

_ Ouch _ . Andrew supposed he deserved that. He put his cigarette out on the ledge even though it wasn’t nearly close to being finished. 

“You are supposed to be in London.” 

“Uncle Stuart’s business is taking longer than he expected. He arranged for me to finish the year here. You would know that but you didn’t give me any way to contact you,” Neil explained with a ridiculous amount of bitterness in his voice. 

Neil didn’t understand. Andrew thought Neil was  _ leaving.  _ Andrew said as much. Neil agreed and then left the space open for Andrew to continue on. 

“It would have been a pipedream to believe that we could last past the summer when you were supposed to be on the other side of the world.” 

That was what it came down to. Andrew didn’t want to have this perfect and precious thing so far out of his reach. He had Neil all summer and it was the best summer he ever had. Andrew didn’t want to be long distance or be reminded of that fact that he could kiss or be with Neil whenever he wanted. 

“So...what?” Neil asked. “You wanted to just forget we ever happened? Your family didn’t seem to have any idea about who I was so I assume you told them nothing and that you don’t want them to know.” 

It wasn’t that Andrew didn’t want them to know about Neil. He didn’t want them to know when he thought Neil was leaving because Nicky would just be unbearable with his summer romance fantasies, and Aaron and Kevin would just pity him because the first person to make Andrew Minyard feel something was across the ocean. Now that Neil was here, well, it changed things. Andrew could feel a little bit of hope simmering in him about the possibilities for the two of them now that they were going to have at least a year in the same zip code. 

Of course Andrew had to ruin it. “I told them I was hooking up with someone over the summer. That it was nothing serious with nobody important.” 

Andrew wanted to tell Neil that that was before. It could be different, now that Andrew knew Neil hadn’t lied and this all was just the result of poor communication and impulsive decisions. 

“Right,” Neil said. “Well I’m glad we got that settled. Now we can finish off the year without getting in each other’s ways. You don’t know me, I don’t know you.” 

“Neil--” 

Neil didn’t let him finish, “You said it best at the beginning of the summer. You’re not my answer, and I’m sure as fuck not yours.” 

Andrew flinched at his own words being thrown back at him. He didn’t try to stop Neil as he got up and left. Instead he stayed in his place on the roof, lit up another two cigarettes and finished them completely before heading home. 

Andrew spent the next month in a mood. He refused to admit that he was in a mood because of Neil. That he hated the fact that he was so close to what he wanted but what he wanted hated him and avoided him at all costs. Andrew hated being at school and watched Neil walk arm-in-arm with Reynolds every goddamn day. 

Renee was useless. She wouldn’t tell Andrew anything on the rare occasion they would be at the gym at the same time. Andrew and his lot were sitting outside during lunch. Andrew didn’t care for being in the cafeteria where he had Neil and Neil’s wonderful social life on full display. Plus, he could smoke outside and none of the teachers could stop him. 

Andrew sat on top of the picnic table tapping his foot. Aaron and Kevin were wrapped up in each other ignoring Nicky’s futile attempts at conversation. 

Nicky was oblivious and continued to ramble. “Anyway I was saying to Jeremy that I found this foundation that is really good at covering up...well, you know, you’ve seen his neck. I swear if I hadn’t met Erik I would totally go for Jean because he seems to know  _ exactly  _ what he’s good. And I mean it must be good because Jeremy is always all over him and--”

“Jean,” Andrew said, completely interrupting Nicky. Jean was the key. Jean Moreau was nothing more to Andrew than one of Kevin’s friends who was  _ technically _ part of The Monsters but was mostly too occupied with his side job of Jeremy Knox’s arm candy to hang out with them. 

Jeremy liked to hang out with his preppy friends. Read: Allison Reynolds, Dan Wilds, Seth Gordon, Matt Boyd. And now: Neil Josten. Where Jeremy went, Jean went. Andrew’s brain started to come up with a plan all on his own. 

Jean Moreau was finally going to put in some time to The Monsters. He was going to help Andrew get Neil back. 

Andrew knew that his family was going to ask questions. He couldn’t exactly play out this plan without them so finally he told them the truth. The entire truth about his summer. 

Nicky was ecstatic, as Andrew predicted. Aaron and Kevin were both happy for him. Aaron was hurt that Andrew didn’t think he could tell them all the truth to begin with, but he and Andrew were trying to fight less so he made a slight attempt at being understanding. Andrew even told them all about Neil. 

“Wait, you mean the hottie that Allison surprised you with on the first day of school?” Nicky asked. 

“Nicky.” Andrew warned. 

“Ok, ok, I’m sorry, but was that him?” 

“Yes,” Andrew said. “That’s Neil.” 

“You didn’t know he was going to be at Palmetto?” Kevin asked. 

“He was supposed to leave at the end of summer to London. His uncle had business he needed to take care of here so they decided to stay.” 

“Why didn’t you give him a way to contact you?” 

“I didn’t want to get my hopes up. With him so far away.” Andrew admitted. 

“Oh, Andrew,” Nicky had his biggest puppy dog eyes on so Andrew put an end to the family venting session. 

“Alright, enough,” Andrew said. “I have a plan. Jean sits with him everyday at lunch. He’s going to tell us about any opportunity that comes up where I can talk to Neil and apologize.” 

“And if he doesn’t forgive you?” Because Aaron couldn’t help but be a dick sometimes. 

“Then he doesn’t forgive me and I move on,” Andrew bit back. “We are getting ahead of the plan. We will wait to see what Jean has to say, and then I will figure it out from there.” 

The opportunity came about a week later. Jean had informed Andrew that Allison was having her usual Friday night get-together. Andrew made a plan to crash it. 

Andrew pulled up Allison’s ridiculously windy and long driveway and parked the car. He could see Jean and Renee sitting in the window, and then he saw the two of them quickly leave their spots as Andrew shut the car door. Nicky, Aaron, and Kevin took the lead. Nicky knocked rhythmically on the front door. 

Allison opened the door and scowled, “To what do I owe this displeasure?” 

“We heard there was a gathering,” Nicky happily explained. 

“And we thought it was very rude of us not to be invited,” Aaron added. 

“You heard, huh?” Allison cast a very annoyed look toward where Andrew assumed Jean was. Andrew was still standing toward the back of the group so he couldn’t see inside the house. He didn’t know where Neil was or what his reaction was. 

“Well?” Kevin asked. “Aren’t you going to invite us in?” 

“I’d rather stick pins in my eyes,” Allison replied. 

“That can easily be arranged.” Andrew was beyond bored of this back and forth. He wanted to see Neil and if Neil didn’t want to see him then  _ Neil  _ could tell him that himself. 

“Well, if it isn’t the head monster himself,” Allison sneered. “You’re not welcome here. In fact none of you are.” 

“Jean’s here,” Kevin pointed out. “He’s one of us.” 

“Good point,” Allison agreed. “Jean. Leave.” 

Andrew sighed. Kevin really walked right into that one. This was precisely why Andrew preferred to do things on his own. 

“Nothing personal, Moreau. But this is officially a no monsters event as of right now.” 

“That’s bullshit,” Aaron said. “I don’t really understand what your problem with us is. We’re not doing anything wrong.” 

“You’re always doing something wrong,” Allison said. 

Andrew grew more and more frustrated as the insults got worse. 

“Enough,” Andrew snapped. He was deeply pleased when all parties got quiet and turned toward him. “I would like to see Neil. This is between him and I and no one else. The faster you get Neil, the faster we all leave.” 

Allison scrunched her nose like it was going to be physically painful to admit that Andrew had a point. Andrew would probably feel the same way if the positions were reversed. 

“Fine. Neil!” Allison called without removing herself from acting as the guard of the door. A moment passed and Neil still hadn’t come to the door. 

“Um,” Dan said quietly. “Neil’s not here.” 

“Hmmph,” Allison smirked. “Looks like that answers your question about whether or not Neil wants to see you. Have a good night monsters!” 

With that Allison shoved Jean and Jeremy out of her home and shut the door. 

“That could’ve gone better,” Nicky said. 

Andrew sighed. “No. I really don’t think it could’ve.” 

Andrew admitted that he deserved this. After the way he dismissed Neil, Neil was entitled to be angry and not want to see Andrew. It hurt, but Andrew could accept a no when given one. Neil was telling him no and it was time to move on. 

So he moved on. Or he tried. It seemed as though Neil had a new man or woman every day at his lunch table. The other party was so obviously trying to flirt with Neil, but Neil was oblivious. Andrew could relate. Neil Josten did not catch subtle flirtation well. Andrew had to work to get Neil to understand that he wanted to kiss him senseless. 

Eventually the mystery guests at lunch stopped and Andrew could breathe a little easier. It wasn’t that he didn’t want Neil to find someone who made him happy, he just  _ really _ wanted to be that person. But he knew he had been the one to fuck up and only he could make things right. 

“Your moping is getting out of hand,” Aaron said one night at dinner. “I hate it.” 

“Because everything I do, I do to please you,” Andrew said back. 

Aaron frowned. “You’re really hung up over Neil.” 

“I’m not hung up,” Andrew defended. “I’m….” 

Andrew couldn’t find the words. He was pissed that Neil was a surprise to him the first day of school. He was annoyed that Allison Reynolds had the upper hand that day and that he was caught off guard. He was frustrated that his family was so understanding and happy for him having a good summer that all of this could have been avoided if he just told them the truth to begin with. 

“I feel like I fucked up,” Andrew admitted. 

Kevin scoffed, “You did fuck up. You made the kid feel like this past summer with you meant nothing and like it was impossible to pick up where you left off.” 

“We can’t pick up where we left off. It’s too messy now,” Andrew said. 

“So don’t,” Nicky shrugged. “Start over. Pretend this is just a new boy that you’re interested in and you want to take him out. You want to woo him and show him what kind of person you really are.” 

“How exactly am I going to woo him when he won’t talk to me?” Andrew asked. He couldn’t believe he was actually considering advice from Nicky of all people. Nicky and the way he romcoms his way through life. 

“I heard he’s on the track team now.” 

Andrew glared. 

“What!” Nicky defended. “I like to keep up to date on all the athletes at school. For data.” 

Aaron snorted, “You mean the data regarding how many student athletes you want in your bed?” 

“It doesn’t matter what the data is,” Nicky deflected. “The point is: Neil is athletic. Join a team and you’ll catch his eye. The rest will just come naturally.” 

“It’s not a bad plan,” Kevin said. Andrew couldn’t believe his ears. Kevin was supposed to have more brain cells than Nicky. “I could even talk to my dad. Maybe you could be the kicker for the football team? It’d be low effort and no contact.” 

“You  _ talk  _ to your dad now?” Andrew asked. 

Kevin shrugged. “We’re working on bettering our relationship.” 

“So your way of doing that is asking him for a favor for one of your friends he’s never met?” 

“Do you want the help or not?” Kevin bit. Aaron placed a hand on Kevin’s shoulder to calm him down. 

Andrew rolled his eyes. “Who am I to stand in the way of building better familial relationships,” he deadpanned. 

A few weeks later Andrew found himself kicking a stupid brown oval into some posts. The most annoying thing about this whole situation was that he was good at it. No really, he hadn’t missed once. He had to deal with the surprise and excitement from his peers and the coaches. The only player that wasn’t thrilled that they had a “secret weapon” as Coach Rhemann had coined was Seth Gordon. 

Andrew wasn’t surprised. Seth was a friend of Neil’s and who knows how much shit talking that whole group has done about him since everything went down. Coach Wymack offered him the spot on the team and part of Andrew wanted to say yes because he was Kevin’s dad and as much as he teased Kevin he did want him to have a better relationship with him. But. Andrew could think of at least ten million more thrilling things he’d rather do than be on a high school football team. It occurred to him that he could do all this so he could catch Neil’s attention but the truth was that there was no guarantee Neil would find any of this the least bit impressive. So he said thanks but no thanks and Coach Wymack was stunned to say the least but didn’t push. Andrew was about to head home when Seth interrupted him. 

“It doesn’t make sense.” 

“You’ll have to be more specific,” Andrew said. “I doubt your tiny pea brain is rarely able to make sense of things.” 

Seth scowled. “Why try out just to say no?” 

Andrew weighed his options. There was a 100% chance that whatever he said was going to get back to Neil. But perhaps Seth could be useful in that way. Andrew could admit he was doing this to impress Neil and maybe Neil would want to talk to him again. 

_ No,  _ Andrew thought. This is what got them in trouble in the first place. They weren’t communicating with each other. 

“I need a favor,” Andrew said. 

Seth didn’t miss a beat, “Why would I do you a favor?” 

“Because then I’d owe you one.” Everyone at Palmetto knew the implications of one of The Monsters owing you a favor. 

Seth didn’t consider for long. He wasn’t as stupid as he looked. 

“Okay. What do you need?” 

Seth agreed to Andrew’s terms. It wasn’t rocket science. All Seth had to do the next day was  _ not  _ wait for Neil where he usually did. Instead he was going to give Andrew the opportunity to set things right and in return Andrew would owe Palmetto’s biggest jock a favor. Probably a stupid favor. But a favor nonetheless. 

Andrew fiddled with his lighter as he waited for Neil. When he spotted the familiar auburn hair. Neil paused when he realized it was Andrew waiting for him and not Seth. It was only a brief pause but it was enough time for Andrew to catch Neil completely unguarded. Andrew wondered if Neil was feeling the same longing that he did. 

Neil snapped out of his daze quicker than Andrew. He marched on as though he wasn’t bothered about whatever Andrew decided to do next. Andrew followed him. They walked in complete silence until they were about one block away from Neil’s home. Miles in the opposite direction of Andrew’s. 

“My car is back at the school,” Andrew complained. 

“No one told you to walk with me,” Neil bit out. 

“Neil.” Andrew did not beg, nor did he plead. But he hoped that Neil could hear how close he was to breaking one of his own rules just for the chance of Neil hearing him out. 

“What?” Neil turned to face him. 

Might as well bite the bullet. “Do you want to go on a date with me? Tonight?” 

Andrew could visibly see all the tension leave Neil’s body. “Where?” 

“The Foxhole Diner. I’ll pick you up. Eight o’clock.” Andrew had thought about the time and place extensively. The diner was neutral ground. It was public enough and it was a shared sentiment throughout the town that nothing bad ever happened there. It was a protected place for everyone to feel comfortable. 

“Alright,” Neil agreed. “Eight o’clock.” 

* * *

When they arrived at the diner Andrew beelined for his favorite table. It was a booth but not against the wall. It was the only table like it in the whole diner. Andrew wasn’t sure how to start conversation. What was he supposed to say?  _ Sorry for being a dick the last few months but I can’t stop thinking about you or the summer. _

Actually that’s exactly what Andrew should say. 

However, Neil beat him to it. “So,” Neil said casually. “Should I prepare to wear your letterman jacket sometime in the near future? Since you’re going to be a star kicker and all for the football team?” 

Andrew relaxed and smirked. It was just Neil. “You joined the track team.” 

“What does that matter?” 

“I wanted to impress you,” Andrew admitted. “By being athletic. You and your physical activity. Always running or wanting to hike.” 

Neil laughed and, wow, what Andrew would do to make sure Neil always laughed like that. 

“Kicker on the football team though?” 

“It was the only team I could get on with such short notice. Kevin can be useful on occasion.” 

“Oh, yeah I’m sure,” Neil teased. 

Andrew couldn’t help himself after that. The chatter was endless and easy. He thrived listening to Neil’s stories about London and in return he tried not to sound like a total douche as he told Neil about some prep school prick that wanted to try and race him to assert his dominance or whatever. 

“Will you race him?” Neil asked. 

“Probably,” Andrew shrugged. “Just so I can shut him up forever when I win.” 

Neil seemed like he was about to ask another question when Andrew’s entire family marched into the restaurant and headed directly toward them. 

_ Fuck _ . 

Aaron plopped down right next to Andrew and Andrew had to sit on his hands so he wouldn’t grab the butter knife and shove it down Aaron’s throat. To make matters even worse, on Neil’s end sat Allison Reynolds and the rest of all the people whose only purpose in life was to make Andrew’s life infinitely more difficult. 

“What are you doing?” Andrew heard Neil whisper at Allison. At least Andrew could rest well knowing that both he and Neil found this all to be one big inconvenience. 

“Well we were just hanging out in the parking lot when we saw the second monster-mobile pull up. We’re just here to make sure they don’t ruin your date,” Allison happily announced to the table. 

Andrew felt his brother tense up beside him. “Hmm, and what exactly were you doing in the parking lot? If anyone here is ruining a date it’s not us.” 

“Once a monster always a monster,” Allison sing-songed. “Ruining runs in your blood.” 

“Bold words from a high school drop-out,” Aaron sneered. 

Andrew sighed. On one hand he felt oddly emotional at the lengths his family would go to try and protect him. One the other hand Aaron should know better than to make stupid and insensitive jokes about leaving structured education especially when Nicky had dropped out only to come back a few years later. High school wasn’t for everyone, and it was surprising to literally no one that Allison Reynolds was someone that could not be contained by four walls that demanded memorization over learning. 

Andrew stared at Neil and waited for Neil to lock eyes with him before nodding his head toward the exit and hoping that Neil somehow got Andrew’s mostly telepathic message. Neil smirked and followed Andrew out to his car. Andrew lit up cigarettes for both of them before getting into the car and rolling down the windows. They both breathed in the smoke in silence for a while before Neil spoke. 

“There’s a dance in a few weeks.”

“There is,” Andrew agreed. 

“Maybe I’ll see you there.” 

Andrew looked over at Neil and studied his profile. Neil was truly beautiful. Not just physically, but his mind and soul. Maybe it was the sun on Neil’s hair, making it auburn with a faded glow around the edges. Maybe it was the way the two of them fell so easily into conversation when really Andrew should’ve been apologizing. Maybe it was just that Andrew could feel it in his bones that Neil was his person, and he hoped that he was Neil’s. But Andrew only hesitated for a moment before he basically made a promise to be Neil’s date at the dance and said “Maybe you will.” 

* * *

Andrew did not  _ get nervous _ . It just wasn’t a feeling that was ever associated with himself before. He wasn’t nervous. He just wanted another cigarette and he knew he would be antsy the entire time if he didn’t smoke just one more. 

“Can we go in now or are you trying to see how fast you can give yourself lung cancer?” Aaron asked. 

“Seriously, Andrew, we’ve been sitting out here for almost two hours,” Kevin added. 

The Monsters had arrived at the dance quite early actually. Early enough that Andrew watched Neil get out of Allison’s car and walk into the gym completely oblivious to the fact that Andrew was in the parking lot already, and the fact that he looked  _ good.  _

Neil Josten in a suit was something Andrew didn’t know he needed in his life until he saw it in person. Andrew imagined other situations in which Neil would wear a suit. He also imagined taking that suit  _ off  _ of Neil but quickly snuffed those fantasies because he was still sitting in his car with his family for fucks sake. 

“I mean I’m all for being fashionably late, but this is beyond late at this point. I want to dance!” Nicky whined, “And Erik’s waiting for me by the entrance.” 

Andrew finished his cigarette (his fourth cigarette in the past hour if you wanted to be specific, which he absolutely did not) and tossed it out the window. 

“Alright,” He said, as though this dance was the biggest inconvenience of his life, “Let’s go.” 

Nicky squealed and was the first person out the car door, happily running into the building to meet Erik. 

“I’m gonna make sure he doesn’t break something,” Kevin said, taking off and conveniently leaving Andrew with Aaron. 

Andrew scowled at his brothers raised eyebrow. 

“You’re the one who wanted to come to this dance. We’ve never been for school spirit before,” Aaron pointed out. “But if you want to leave, we don’t have to go in.” 

“Don’t be ridiculous. We’re going in.” Andrew was determined. He was going to see Neil in that suit up close and personal. 

Aaron shrugged, probably happy on the inside that he fulfilled his brotherly duty for the week of trying to comfort Andrew. 

When they walked into the gym, Andrew didn’t miss all the eyes that turned toward them. He supposed it was warranted. The Monsters never went to any school outings and then they showed up to one two hours late. Andrew ignored all the eyes on him and his family. He zeroed in on only one pair of eyes and before he could talk himself out of it, beelined directly toward Neil. 

“You came,” Neil said. Andrew hated how surprised Neil sounded. As though Andrew couldn’t be trusted to keep his word. 

“I told you that you might see me here,” Andrew said. He hoped that Neil could understand all that was left unsaid. 

Andrew determined that Neil did, when Neil held out a hand, in a silent yes or no. The answer was yes, as it typically was with things concerning Neil Josten. Andrew lost himself to the music and Neil and reluctantly admitted to himself that he was having a good time. Even when Nicky dragged everyone together, even when both groups began to merge, Andrew wasn’t even bothered by the lack of distance between him and Allison. For a moment, Andrew thought he could have this. He could allow his family to grow bigger if it meant he got to keep seeing Neil Josten’s laugh and smile. 

When the dancing got too much and everyone separated Andrew tugged on Neil’s sleeve, “I’m going to for a smoke.” 

Realizing that he was open to expanding his circle was something he wanted to reflect about alone. Thankfully, because Neil was just that kind of person, Neil understood and didn’t follow Andrew outside. 

Andrew didn’t let people in easily. This was evidenced by the fact that the two closest people to him were his blood relatives. Kevin he’d known since forever, they were friends before Andrew even knew what friends were. Andrew only tolerated Jean because of Kevin, he wouldn’t have made friends with the French man otherwise, and Andrew didn’t consider the golden retriever of a boyfriend that was attached to Jean a friend. He was merely an addition to someone Andrew didn’t hate entirely. 

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a familiar voice. “I thought that was you I saw. Can’t believe my eyes, Andrew Minyard at a school function? Someone call the press!” 

Andrew rolled his eyes. “Roland.” 

Before Neil there was Roland. Well not really. There was Roland maybe every other week? When Andrew was bored and had nothing better to do? Roland wasn’t anything. He was just someone who was convenient to Andrew. 

“I’m here as someone’s date,” Roland answered a question that was never asked. 

Roland didn’t go to Palmetto, so Andrew thought it was pretty obvious that the boy had to be invited here to be at a school dance. 

“Shouldn’t you be bothering them then?” 

Roland laughed, “I guess. It’s not serious though, so if you’re not busy…?” 

“I am busy,” Andrew said. 

“Oh?” 

Andrew rolled his eyes yet again. Some people needed things spelled out for them. “Yes,” Andrew said. “I’m actually going to be busy until further notice. So maybe go actually spend time with your date, yeah?” 

Roland stood there shell-shocked. Andrew took pity on him, “Here, I’ll walk you back in.” 

Andrew pulled on Roland’s sleeve and headed back toward the gym. As soon as he walked in he could feel Neil’s eyes on him. 

“Oh!” Roland exclaimed. “You’re busy with him. That's your boyfriend?” 

_ Boyfriend. _ Andrew hated the word. It was the word that Aaron liked to gush over when introducing Kevin to people. It was a word that Nicky dreamed about. It was a word that did not mean anything to Andrew. 

“What’s his name?” 

“Neil,” Andrew said. “And he’s not my boyfriend.” 

“Just like I wasn’t your boyfriend?” Roland challenged. 

Andrew narrowed his eyes. First of all, there is no way in hell that Roland even came  _ close _ to being what Neil is to him now. Second of all, this is another reason Andrew hated the word. People thought that a few hook ups of the consistent type meant they were owed a label. Andrew never felt the way he felt with Roland as he does with Neil. He actually wants to hear Neil talk and think about his future with Neil whereas every time Roland opens his mouth Andrew wishes he was better with a needle and thread so he could sew it shut. 

Before Andrew could speak, Roland’s eyes lit up, “This must be Neil!” 

Andrew kept his face very blank, because if he didn’t he wouldn’t be able to hide how badly he wanted to claw Roland’s vocal chords out. 

Neil didn’t reply. He turned to solely address Andrew, “I think I’m going to head out.” 

“Okay,” Andrew said. “You need a ride?”  _ Say yes. Say yes. Say yes.  _

“Nah,” Neil said. “I’ll get a ride home with Jean and Jeremy. You can stay here, I don’t want to cut your night short.” 

Andrew offered Neil a ‘goodnight’ that wasn’t returned. 

As Neil walked away, Andrew couldn’t help but feel as though there was a significant shift in their dynamic. Something felt off, now, and Andrew couldn’t quite pinpoint what it was. 

Roland sighed, “Another boy heartbroken by the likes of Andrew Minyard. At least you’re consistent.” 

* * *

Andrew stood in front of the television, which elicited several complaints from the dumbass trio that was currently sitting on the couch. 

“Something feels off with Neil. How do I fix it?” 

“You can start by letting us watch our show,” Kevin grumbled. 

“Trouble in paradise?” Nicky asked, genuinely displeased. “What happened?” 

“I don’t know. We were at the dance having fun, and then Neil left early and things have been weird since.” 

Andrew didn’t miss how Aaron shrunk in his seat. 

Andrew narrowed his eyes, “What did you do?” 

Nicky began to look uncomfortable, eyes darting back and forth between the twins. Kevin placed a hand on Aaron’s thigh. 

“What did he do?” Andrew addressed Kevin. 

“I should go get us refills,” Kevin said, attempting to get up and remove himself from the situation, only to be pulled back down by Aaron sitting on him to keep him in place. 

“I could easily lift you off me,” Kevin scoffed. 

“Yes,” Aaron agreed. “But you won’t because you know how I feel about being lifted.” 

“As thrilling as this is,” Andrew interrupted. “Someone better tell me why Neil’s being weird.” 

Aaron sighed, “He saw you and Roland at the dance.” 

“Is that all?” Andrew raised an eyebrow. 

“No,” Aaron said. “I might have told him that you and Roland used to have an on-and-off sort of hook up deal.” 

Andrew counted to twenty in his head. “You’re lucky you share my face, or I would punch it in.” 

With that, Andrew went up to his own room and texted Neil, making plans to see a movie together at the local drive-in to try and make up for Aaron’s stupidity and unwanted commentary. 

“A drive-in movie?” Aaron had asked incredulously when Andrew told him he would be gone for the evening. “That’s very explicit of you.” 

“It’s just a movie. It does not have to mean anything more than that.” Andrew wasn’t dumb. He knew what people thought it meant when two people went out to the movies together. But he and Neil were different. This didn’t have to be a  _ date _ . It was Andrew and Neil. 

Andrew picked Neil up at the exact time he said he would. They rode in silence to the theater besides the few occasions where Andrew had to tell Neil to stop staring at him. Andrew took it upon himself to go get the snacks because with his luck Neil would opt for something weird like a bag of peanuts instead of candy and popcorn. Andrew indulged in a blue-raspberry slushie as well because it reminded him of Neil’s eyes. 

By the time Andrew got back the opening credits were beginning so he adjusted the radio to the correct station so they could hear the words. 

“I’ve never been to a drive-in movie before,” Neil commented. 

“It’s better being in your own space than next to strangers in a theater,” Andrew replied. He didn’t add that there was nowhere else he’d rather be than confined in a small space with Neil. 

Once the snacks were done Andrew did try to pay attention to the movie, but it was hard when everything he’d ever wanted was in the seat next to him. Little by little the two entered each other's spaces until the movie was completely forgotten and then the only thing Andrew could focus on was his hand on Neil’s neck and Neil’s mouth on his. 

Time went by faster when they were kissing. Soon the movie was over and Neil pulled away to catch his breath, and then made Andrew’s entire world freeze. 

“Best date ever.” 

Andrew knew, he  _ knew _ , what was implied with a drive-in movie. He was hardly surprised that Allison probably told Neil this fact. He knew what he was doing when he asked Neil. So why did hearing the words out loud make him freeze in place, unable to confirm or reassure Neil’s words? 

“What’s wrong?” Neil asked, full of concern. 

“Best what?” 

“What?” 

“What did you say before? Best what?” 

“Date?” Neil asked. “I said this was the best date ever.” 

“This isn’t a date.” Andrew couldn’t stop the words. He didn’t understand why he was freaking out. Why he was getting so defensive. This  _ was  _ a date. This could not more clearly be a date. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Why would you think this was a date?” 

“Um. Because you took me to a drive-in movie on a Saturday night, bought snacks, and then we spent the whole night kissing?” And well. Neil had a fucking point. But Andrew was nothing but self destructive. 

“That doesn’t mean this is a date.”

“Okay...Then what is this?” 

“What is what?” 

“This,” Neil said, waving his hand to indicate to the two of them. 

“There is no this.” Andrew was collecting bad habits like baseball cards. First smoking and now lying. 

“Right,” Neil said. “Well I’m going to go then.” 

Andrew was unable to form anything coherent. He couldn’t even be mad at Neil. He wanted to take back his words but they were caught in his throat. Instead he opted on a small “I’ll take you home.” 

“Nah.” Andrew watched helplessly as Neil slammed the car door shut behind him leaving Andrew alone. 

“Fuck.” Andrew muttered to himself. He noticed a car a few down pull out of the lot, catching Seth and Allison in the front seats and now Andrew was pissed. 

Neil’s friends were convinced Andrew would do something to upset Neil and that he would need an escape. And now Andrew was an idiot who proved them right. Andrew allowed himself fifteen minutes to get his shit under control before heading home. He needed time to figure out what he was going to say to his family. 

In the end, Andrew did what he did best. He was angry. So he made it everyone else’s problem. He stormed inside his house, announced that he and Neil were over, and told Kevin if he wanted to keep Moreau alive then he would make sure he sat at The Monsters table at lunch from now on. 

Andrew focused all his energy on the upcoming race instead. He avoided Neil at school, put a ban on his name being discussed in front of him, and ignored any and all attempts Nicky made at trying to offer solutions. 

The day of the race came and Andrew was secretly hoping Neil showed up. Andrew was far too pleased when he saw Neil’s friend group, but the disappointment hit hard when he realized Neil wasn’t with them. 

He made small talk with Renee who wished him good luck for a while before Aaron pulled him off to the side. 

“I know things have been shitty lately,” Aaron started. “And you don’t have to talk about any of it, but just know that I’m on your side. No matter what, I’m on your side.” 

Andrew didn’t respond. He looked off to the side, scowling a bit at Kevin interacting with Matt. 

Aaron added, “I don’t want to put extra pressure on you to win, and don’t turn around, but there’s a certain redhead sitting up on the hill watching.” 

Neil came. Even after everything Neil came. Andrew didn’t turn around as requested but now he had motivation. He wasn’t planning on losing to begin with, but now he was going to win in hopes of catching the attention of Neil. 

The flag girl called everyone over, Andrew put out his cigarette and made his way to his car. 

“Ready to lose, Minyard?” Riko snarled at him. 

Andrew rolled his eyes and didn’t deign to respond to childish taunts. He was ready to win. 

When the race started, Andrew was instantly reminded as to why he loved cars to begin with. Here he was, inside this big metal box that had the potential to kill him, yet he was in control. He loved how it felt, hearing the engine sputter as his speed increased. He knew the risks of operating a vehicle at such a speed and yet he never felt safer under his own fingers. 

Riko pulled ahead at one point and Andrew let him have it. Let him think it was his victory. At the last second Andrew slammed his foot on the gas, propelling the car forward with just enough speed to beat Riko. 

It was the worst kind of loss. Being so close, thinking you have it, just to have it taken away. Andrew relished in the fact that he took this from Riko. 

When he stepped out of the car there were endless cheers from Monsters and others alike. He allowed hugs from his family and even allowed the praise from Neil’s friends. 

“Good job Monster,” Allison said. “You just won me $500.” 

“You bet on me?” 

“Of course,” Allison said. As though she didn’t have an endless feud with him and his brother. Andrew supposed he had Neil to thank for that. Speaking of Neil, Andrew turned to the hill to see if he could catch Neil’s eye but Neil wasn’t there. 

* * *

Things were getting weird. Andrew was seeing Neil everywhere. On his way to class, leaving the bathroom. It was like Neil had come out of the shadows. He’d stop hiding. Andrew wasn’t complaining per say, he was glad that his days were being filled with a little happiness, but he didn’t know what it meant. Why now? Why didn’t Neil approach him after the race? 

Nicky said that Andrew was blinded by love and seeing Neil everywhere was his subconscious’ mind telling him what he wanted. Andrew told Nicky that was stupid as fuck and to never use the phrase ‘blinded by love’ ever again. 

“We should go to the carnival,” Aaron announced at dinner. 

“Right now?” Nicky asked. 

“Yeah,” Aaron said. “Why not? We’ve already gone to every other school function this year. Might as well go out strong.” 

“You just want Kevin to win you a stuffed animal,” Nicky teased. 

Kevin scoffed, “Aaron’s winning  _ me _ a stuffed animal.” 

“Let’s go,” Andrew said. 

“Wait, really?” 

Andrew shrugged. “Before I change my mind.” 

The Monsters rushed around, clearing the dinner table and getting dressed before heading out to the carnival. 

Aaron did not in fact win Kevin a stuffed animal. Andrew had to pull his brother aside from fighting the carnival employee. 

“It’s not his fault you suck at the ring toss, Aaron,” Andrew reprimanded. 

“It’s fixed! All these fucking games are fixed!” Aaron complained. 

“Let’s get snacks!” Nicky tried to distract Aaron from his distress. 

Andrew could admit that carnival food, despite it being the worst type of junk food, was his favorite food. He ignored Kevin’s disgusted stares as he polished off a whole plate of funnel cake. 

In the midst of Aaron trying to steal his fried Oreo’s and Andrew lighting up a cigarette Nicky let out a low, “Holy fuck.” 

Andrew watched as Aaron’s eyes fixated on something behind him and got increasingly wide. Before Andrew could ask what the problem was, Aaron shoved his shoulder to get him to turn around and well. Well. 

Well. 

What a fucking sight Andrew was met with. 

Neil Josten was absolutely going to be the death of Andrew. Neil stood in tight black pants that Andrew knew Allison had to pick out for him, a mesh black t-shirt, a leather jacket, and  _ red _ fucking doc martens. 

The color was almost a perfect match to Neil’s hair and they made his eyes stand out even more than usual. 

Andrew took a step forward and threw his cigarette on the ground, “Neil?” 

And Neil, like the fucking asshole he was, strutted, literally  _ strutted _ like this was a runway and not a shitty makeshift carnival ground, up to Andrew and picked up his discarded cigarette and put it right between his own lips. 

“Tell me about it, stud.” 

_ Oh.  _ Andrew was going to tell him about it alright. Andrew reached out and hoped it would be allowed. When Neil didn’t pull away he smoothed the collar of Neil’s jacket. “What do you want?” 

“The same thing I’ve wanted since summer. You. Just you.” Neil said it as though it was the easiest thing he’d ever said. 

“Even after everything?” Andrew had to ask. Because he knew he fucked up more than once. He knew that he did not deserve this easy forgiveness but he wanted it anyway. 

“My heart is stuck on you, Andrew Minyard. You’re the one that I want, as long as you want me, too.” 

Neil’s words made Andrew brave. “I do. I want you, too.” 

“Can I?” Neil asked. 

Andrew rolled his eyes. The answer was always yes with Neil. Andrew pulled Neil in by the jacket and kissed him. He kissed him right in front of his family and strangers and he didn’t care. He was lost in Neil. Andrew flashed back to the summer, when Neil’s kisses were what he looked forward to every day. 

Nothing had changed since the summer. Not really. 

Andrew was set on Neil, and he’d be set on Neil for as long as he was allowed. 

**Author's Note:**

> let me know what you thought!!! im keeping this series as unfinished because i may at some point want to write some drabbles of neil and andrew's summer together :) 
> 
> as usual come say hi on twitter @ [bazerella](https://twitter.com/bazerella)


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